In plain sight

Sitting very still
The embodiment of tranquility
Awash in silence
Becoming nothing
So lost as to become everything
As pervasive as daylight
As veiled as the night
At peace in solitude
At one with it all

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Round 1

Thirteen going on thirty,
His fluffy beard is kinda dirty
It belies that he’s a baby
But his dad won’t let him shave it

Summers round the corner
with the weather getting warmer
The kitchens looking worn,
so he’s busy decorating

Sanding paint and peeling paper
Playing catch-up with the neighbours,
An expert with the scraper
He leans further from his stool

From the lounge emerge faint noises,
It’s his parents rising voices,
Dad is getting restless
But its mum that makes the rules

Skilfully surreptitious
Hearing words that sound malicious
The mood darkens to become vicious
He’s refereed this match before

Nothing seems amiss
When he’s greeted by red mist,
Caught up amidst the fists,
As they continue to even the score

Suppressing waves of fear
Prying fingers he holds dear
Catching an elbow to the ear
He begins to sense the tone

Parting the two beasts
He tries to make the peace
‘Help me hello police!?’
His mother screams down the phone

Out of the frying pan and into the fire
As if the situation wasn’t dire
Now he’s to judge who is the liar
Time is not his friend

Between a hard place and a rock
Keeping one eye on the clock
Suddenly hearing the dreaded knock
It’s time to play pretend

So his mother isn’t well
She didn’t mean to yell
That bruise is cos she fell
All in all she’s quite worn out

Now you can’t deny
That dad has a black eye
But he’ll merely testify
That dad is clumsy without a doubt

Serving lies up on a platter
So charming with his chatter
Pretending it doesn’t matter
He has to bite his tongue

Gritted teeth distort his smile
The officer senses his beguile
But before she can put him to trial
Mum admits that she was wrong

She didn’t mean to call
She was confused after her fall
Of course there wasn’t a brawl
She says sorry and shrinks away

Just 15 minutes before
Dad was begging on the floor
He would never blame mum again he swore
It was groundhog Day

The officers hands were tied
She knew that mum had lied
Justice would be denied
But she had no other choice

She consoled the boy in the hall
And though he was 6ft tall
He seemed so very small
And somehow lost his voice

He wanted her to know
That this was all for show
And was begging her not to go
But his lips they never moved

In silence he stood and stared
At those for which he cared
Rooted as if he were snared
Waiting for the inevitable, round number two

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And so we swayed

The sun came down and the dust settled for a moment
Sitting still..so very still in the light of a thousand fireflies that waltzed through the whisps of lingering clouds
Seemingly caressing one another in an ethereal embrace
The grass cooled my hands
The air kissed my skin as gently as it could
Each breeze teased with a touch
Not long enough to know but enough to yearn for more
As the dusk succumbed to memory, we danced

The cacophony of music and chatter blended into a divine melody
The jarring sparring of sounds held hands and swayed,
Feeling compelled I decided to do the same
There were no sparks when our hands touched
Electricity would be overstating
It was peace
An undeniable yet undescribable sensation both known and a stranger
My heart slowed as did my breath
This present would not be lost to history yet
Her head resting on my chest steadied me further still
This serene moment was ours
Below the stars yet above all the noise
Cocooned inside a symphony of our own volition, we swayed
And time stepped back
She looked up and held me in her regard
Her eyes a contradiction of power and vulnerability
Breathlessly she uttered ‘I will always lift you up’..
All I could do was press a kiss atop her crown
My words she stole away along with the air to power them
And so we swayed

At some point fireworks dimmed the stars
And a cheer echoed into the night I think..
In all honesty these trivial details elude me
And I have no qualms, for that moment with her in my arms, as I was lost in her disarming eyes will be enough
That moment when only the stars could reach us
That moment when we held hands and swayed

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Ma

Selfishly Ma, I want to tell you all
Breaking your heart into shards that will make you bleed
You raised a man to be proud of I hope
But in truth I’m nothing, nothing like the template you cut me from
A failure in your eyes?
Welling up, the heartbreak would drown you and I
The truth of myself is not what you expected
A charade, a show, a charlatan
How I wish you knew me
Though knowing that knowing me would destroy all you know
I guess I will continue with the show
I love you too much to let me hurt you
My head sits on your shoulder
And it feels like no-one has ever been closer
Yet in truth I’m so far from you and the older I become
The harder it is to play dumb
To play the son you wanted
Trying to be numb to the lie that ties us
To be blind to all that divides us
A commotion, a fuss thats really all pretend
Regardless of it all Ma, I’m yours..
Devoted till the end

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The Mirror

The mirror does not lie
Nor does it tell you the truth
It is cursed to stand in silence
As you determine your own honesty
Seeing you for what you are
For what you were
What an unjust life
The life of the mirror
How many stories it has seen
With many more once yours is done
Longing to break its silence
And give the curse back

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The little sofa

When we sat on that little sofa, forever struggling to find a comfy yet romantic position
Sometimes your head ended up in my armpit,
or my big hand would block the TV
Try as we might, we just didn’t fit on that little sofa
The sofa on which you could stretch like a cat in pure nirvana
And then along I’d come to swallow up all the space and squish your glasses, in what I thought was a loving embrace
More like a chokehold I guess
Eventually grumbling we’d give up and sit up
Then inevitably like the night before
Your head would sway and slide down my shoulder
Another movie night ending within the first 5 minutes – for you at least
Eventually comes the little snore as you’d begin to dribble
But I dare not move and ruin this moment
To see you in total restful bliss
Giving you a butterfly kiss, I’d look on and be overwhelmed by the warmth of you
Your ugly, peaceful sleeping gurn was what it was all about
On that little sofa, was once our little world
And now we sit worlds apart
Torn from that little world we made our own
To make our own way now, alone
The adventure is thrilling and yes the seas have been rough yet I always make it to the shore in the end
So it seems strange, how it’s on these sandy beaches where I find myself sinking sometimes
Reminiscing about that little sofa once more.

 

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Believers

Sitting in the shadow of your believers
Hidden from the burning sun of your love
Immolation in your fire
Resignation to your desire
A pacifist of your ire
Seems an unsatisfactory fate to me
Excuse my absence, as I dance with the devil once more

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Nostalgia #3

Nostalgia the guest arriving unexpected
Cowering yet pigeon chested
Memories cherished and time tested
Accruing interest over time, fighting the haze and commotion of lesser thoughts
Impressive in their claims
Famous to those that recall the tall tales of endless nights
Senseless tantalising trips down memory lane
Severing themselves from the fact, barely intact,
Bordering on lies, nostalgia serves pain dressed as pleasure
A memento mori
A tearful story
Wiping away it’s suffering
And smiling as you look into it’s eyes

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Akhiyan

Beholden to your gaze, I turn away into the haze of the sun in the afternoon sky, or was that all still in your eyes?
Shimmering hues dance and swirl devilishly, as my mind a dervish, whirls into dreams beyond such naive conjecture..

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Moon dreams

You
Me
And a moonlit night
Opened my eyes and it was only the moon and I
With jasmine on the wind…

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